RESTORE YOUR FELLOWSHIP

2 Corinthians 5:16-18
We must be reconciled to God, but also to each other. We cannot claim to be reconciled to god if we are willing to be at odds with God's children, i.e. disciples, and not be reconciled to them.

True Christian fellowship takes place when we reconcile ourselves to others in the church.

Q. Has anyone offended you, maybe even accidentally - said or did something that you did not like? Have you reconciled yourself to them?

Matthew 5:9
We are to make peace, i.e. we must put in the required effort to bring about peace.

1. TALK TO GOD FIRST

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Pray continually. Prayer here is linked to joy. As we are prayerful, we will be joyful and thankful. Joy does not come from people around us because no one in our lives, no matter how highly we regard them, is perfect. Joy comes from God, as we trust him and put things before him in prayer.

Before you have a talk with anyone, pray about it.

James 4:1-3
We do not have because we do not ask God. Ask God to guide your conversation.

2. TAKE THE INITIATIVE

Matthew 5:23
Don't reason, "He has a problem with me; let him come talk to me," or, "if she's unhappy with me then it's up to her to speak to me." Go to the person. Take the initiative. Take the first step.

3. SYMPATHIZE WITH THEIR FEELINGS

Philippians 2:4-8
Jesus Christ became human and did not carry himself as being superior to us. He came down to people's level - to our level - so that he could relate to them and they to him.

The key to being able to sympathize with people's feelings is listen to them. Seek to listen and understand, not only to being heard and to be understood.

4. CONFESS YOUR PART IN THE CONFLICT

Luke 6:41
In any problem, usually both people have a part to play, so confess and take responsibility for your part in the problem. Don't go into a talk bent only on pointing out the other person's sins or mistakes.

5. ATTACK THE PROBLEM, NOT THE PERSON

Proverbs 15:11,12
Attacking, accusing and blaming people does not help.

It is not helpful to speak to people in a manner to belittle them or demoralize them. Speak the truth, but do so with humility and gentleness, with the aim of unity being achieved through the conversation and not just the aim of you putting your points across.

6. COOPERATE FULLY

Hebrews 12:14,15
To stop bitter roots growing, talk things out. Do it in a conducive environment, when people are not tired, in a hurry or distracted.

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